The Business of Writing: That Stupid Cover Letter

First I want to apologize for not posting last month. Something came up that got in the way of my post but I’m back and ready to talk about that cover letter.

* This image is from my pinterest account

To me the cover letter is harder to do than the synopsis. How do you sell yourself on one sheet of paper? Even if you are cold submitting via an e-mail you still need to keep it short and sweet. Your letter should be an intro paragraph, your book blurb, your accolades and a closing paragraph/sentence telling them you can’t wait to hear from them.

I was also told if I met an editor at a conference and we hit on something personal like she/he likes cats, or she/he grew up where I did, that I should put that in the intro paragraph so the editor would remember me. The biggest thing that was drilled into my head was to send that submission as quickly as possible after the editor requests it.

All the advice was great but it didn’t help me when it came time to write one. I didn’t even know how to start one.

Dear editor – if you have their name use it

Intro paragraph – I would mention that I am multi-published and who I’m published with. I would also mention that I write lighthearted erotic romances and my writing style resembles authors like Johanna Lindsey.

The second paragraph – I’d then add my blurb

The third paragraph – I’d mention the contests my books have finaled in, I’d also mention any special review I might have had – something that was a little more than a five star review although if you have 5 star reviews you can mention those as well. I would also mention I was a member of RWA and the positions I held I would also mention MFRW and any volunteer position I have. In my case I would also mention I work with a publisher.

Last paragraph would be the thank you for your time...

This is very basic and if anyone has something they do that works for them please post it. The more we know the better those letters are.

Barb:)

Barbara Donlon Bradley wears many hats. She’s a mother, wife, care-giver, author, and editor. She’s a senior editor for Melange Books, and writes for Phaze and Melange books/Satin Romances with over twenty titles under her belt.

Website: http://www.barbaradonlonbradley.com/

Publisher: http://www.phaze.com/author.php?author=21

Blog: http://barbaradonlonbradley.blogspot.com/

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On The Nose Dialogue & How Fiction Writers Can Avoid It #MFRWauthor #WriteTip #MFRWorg #Writers #Authors

Today I’m looking at On-The-Nose dialogue (OTN). 

This isn't a problem for Scriptwriters alone. Fiction writers need to avoid this trap as well. 

On-the-nose dialogue will ensure readers drop your book faster than a red-hot ember. 

You and I both know that nobody wants to read dialogue that isn’t close to the way people really talk. Otherwise it’s boring, tedious and not worth reading. 

Yet, writers are still falling into the trap, not realising that the ability to avoid writing on-the-nose-dialogue sets great writers apart from so-so writers. It shows editors, agents, readers, reviewers and the like that you have the skill, understand and know-how to implement the numerous other fine distinctions of the craft of writing and storytelling.

So what is on-the-nose dialogue, and how can we avoid this hazard?

What is On The Nose Dialogue?

OTN dialogue is obvious dialogue. It’s bland, boring to read, and tells the reader exactly what the author needs the reader to know, or requires the scene to convey. Plus it’s nothing beyond filler. 

An example of on-the-nose dialogue would be...

“Hi, Jim, it’s really hot today.” Pete tugged at his tie. 

“Yes, Pete, but they say it’s going to rain later.”

Pete glanced out the window they were passing. “I can see some rain clouds coming in overhead.” His tie was still choking him and his loosened it. “So I saw you with Carol, your wife. Are you two getting back together?”

“Maybe... I think so... We’re working on it. Why do you ask?”   

“I was wondering because she cheated on you with your brother and all.”

“I really shouldn’t take her back, but I still love her.”

Okay enough! I can’t take anymore, and I’m sure you’re ready to stop reading by now. 

Do you see how utterly uninspiring and dead boring OTN dialogue is? Did you notice anything else? Not only did I show you OTN dialogue, I also threw in some OTN action as well—just as a treat :). 

Pete tugged at his tie. Why is Pete tugging his tie? Not because he’s nervous, but because it’s a hot day. 

Pete glanced out the window they were passing. Why? Just so he can see the rain clouds closing in.

This is all obvious action to go along with his obvious dialogue, and that’s what makes it OTN action. 

Another obvious statement coming from old Pete is: “So I saw you with Carol, your wife." 

I'm pretty sure Jim already knows who his wife is! And that she cheated with his brother.

Rule of Thumb: anything that is obvious is On-The-Nose, whether it’s dialogue or action. Think subtle. Think show don’t tell. Think mystery (not of the whodunit, but of the I-wonder-what’s-really-being-said-here variety). 

The next part of the above scene, which leaves the reader cold, is the lack of any real point of view character. Through whose eyes are we viewing the story? These are all hazards of the OTN dialogue. 

How Do We Avoid This Hazard?

The trick, my friends, is to use subtext and deep POV. We say things all the time that we don’t know we’re saying. As authors, we can use this to great advantage. I spoke about subtext in my Pull Up a Chair With Mon series over on my blog a while ago, so I won’t delve into it again too deeply here. 

What I’d like to do is try and see if we can make the above scene any better. Let’s hang out in Pete’s head to see what's going on...

“Hey, Jim, wait up.” Pete jogged the few paces to catch up with his buddy. Even at this early hour in the day, sweat trickled down his back. Snagged his dress shirt and plastered it to his back.

“Just leave it, Pete, I’m warning you.” Jim’s dark, narrowed gaze sliced into him. But what sort of buddy would Pete be if he didn’t make his friend realise he was heading down the same road to destruction as before?

“You know I can’t do that, bud. Just hear me out, and if you still want to take Carol back, I'd be first to raise a toast to your happy future.”

Jim skidded to a halt. Spun on Pete like he had murder on his mind. “What is your problem with my wife?” 

The clenched fists and steam shooting from Jim’s nostrils let Pete know his friend of ten years was close to outing his lights. Pete loosened his tie. Maybe the god-awful heat had gone to his head, but Pete was ready to duke it out with Jim right here is the hallway of TTNT—in front of all their work colleagues—if it meant Jim would finally listen to what he had to say.

“The only problem I have is that she’s a liar and a cheat, and she doesn’t deserve all the chances you keep giving her. What second chance are you on now? Fifth?”

Fist balled tight, Jim drew his arm back. 

Pete knew what was coming and he welcomed it. What he didn’t expect was the force of the punch that connected with his jaw, and knocked half a day’s memory out of his brain.

This is a rough example. It needs more subtleties added. The senses, for starters, and a deeper understanding of who Pete and Jim really are, but I’m not writing a story here, just giving you a quick example. 

With any luck, you see the difference between the two scenes. The first is out and out OTN. The second is a little more subtle. Giving the reader info while keeping her/him wanting to know what’s going on by dripping in the relevant facts. I achieved this by letting the reader see what’s happening inside my POV character through action, internal narrative and emotion. 

Have you ever been snared by the dreaded on-the-nose dialogue trap? Do you have any neat tricks or ways to avoid it? I'd love to hear what you think. 

Until next time... let's avoid the nose.


Monique

Author/Screenwriter Monique DeVere currently resides in the UK with her amazing hero husband, four beautiful grown-up children, and three incredible granddaughters. 

Monique writes Romantic Comedy stories some call Smexy—Smart & Sexy—and others call fluff. Monique makes no apologies for writing fun, emotional feel-good romance! She also writes Christian Suspense with a more serious edge.  

Monique loves to hear from her readers. You can contact her by visiting her http://moniquedevere.blogspot.co.uk to learn more about her and check out her other books.

Make It Easy...For Everyone #MFRWOrg

MFRW
Marketing For Romance Writers.
Created to help educate and elevate writers of all genres, though often thought of as Marketing for ROMANCE Writers.
In full truth, MFRW is also about helping each other. Reaching a hand out to boost fellow writers up, knowing they'll do the same for us.  We all see the requests. ReTweet, click here, support there. And we're happy to take a few seconds from our busy day to do just that.
Except...the petitioner has forgotten to let us know where...when...how. And after far too long spent floundering, looking for answers, we sign off, disgruntled.
Has this happened to you? I know it's happened to me. And all too often if I ask for more information the questions echoes in an empty room. Crickets chirp in the vast nothingness. Being of scattered mind and not near enough time I soon lose the ambition to help out, and turn to my next project.
Make it EASY for us to help you.
If you want someone to read your blog, give a link to the blog, NOT just to the first page of your website.
If you want an opinion on your cover art, link to the art itself.
You want participation in a group event don't just give the link to that event. Explain about the participation, what it means, how to join in. Is it enough to just sign up or will we need to do something else when the magic day arrives? Not everyone is up to date on every promotional opportunity and often we (okay I) get confused with all that can be done.
Even when I sort of know which button to push when, I don't always know why and sometimes not even where. If you set up a reTweet day, take a minute to explain what we're going to be doing once we're on Twitter, finger poised to punch something somewhere. Because we do want to help but we also really do need to know how and what we need to do. Make it easy and it will be fun for everyone, and we can help fulfill the MFRW goals:

Seek, Teach, Share, Learn, SUCCEED

thoughts shared from  Mona Karel

Blog Hop Coordinator

In addition to occasional curmudgeonly outbursts, Mona writes Romance both normal and paranormal as a way to share her daydreams with the rest of the world. When not writing she wraps her world around her Salukis, her home in the New Mexico high desert, and photographing the quirky, the unusual, and the just plain gorgeous.

Hook Me, Baby! You Have A Great Opening Hook, but Then What? #MFRWauthor #WriteTips #Writers #Authors #MFRWorg

Hello friends, 

If you haven't met me, my name is Monique DeVere. I write Romantic Comedy, or, as some like to call it, Fluff. I also write Christian Suspense and I'm a screenwriter. I live in the UK and have well over twenty years experience in the writing world. I like to think I have a lot of writing experience that I can bring to the table and share, which is why I'm delighted to join the talented columnists at MFRW. When the MFRW Blog Director invited me to join the team, I was more than sure she'd emailed me by mistake! When a few days came and passed and she didn't email me again to apologise for the mistake, I  cautiously accepted that the invitation was indeed meant for me. So here I am, writing the Writing Tips column, which goes out on the 26th of the Month. I'll be helping you to take your writing to the next level. Do make a note and pop back to visit with me, won't you?   

Enough with the intro, let's get on with the column. This month I'm talking Hooks.

Story Hooks

Hooks are little magnets we use throughout our books to keep the reader glued to our stories. 

When it comes to novels, there are all sorts of hooks. These are all designed to force the reader to keep turning pages.We have the opening hook line--created to grab the reader's attention. The opening hook scene--devised to snag the reader's interest and desire to continue reading. The story hook or story question--planned to make the reader keep turning pages in order to discover the answer. And the end of chapter hook--to persuade the reader to forgo sleep in preference of reading "just one more chapter". 

I think we can all agree that a great opening hook line is important. Over the years, I've seen really cool opening lines only to find myself disappointed by what follows. It seems to me some authors forget that the reader will read beyond the dazzling opening hook and will expect the rest of the book to be as sparkling. I believe the problem arises when the author falls into the trap of loading up the reader with back story or scene setting or some other equally unimportant-for-the-moment craft props instead of letting the reader live the scene as it unfolds. If I may, I'd like to use an example from one of my stories in order to demonstrate what I mean.

This is the first line/opening hook from Zach's Rebound Girl.

Dear, Diary, Zach's back!

(The opening hook line)  “MMM ... oh, yeah. Right there. That’s it ... just there.”

When I wrote this, I wanted the reader to sit up and take notice. I wanted to hook her/him with my naughty opening line. 

(The opening hook scene) 

Zach and his buddies are eavesdropping on his neighbour and things are sounding pretty naughty next door. Then Zach hears the name of his neighbour and remembers his old uni friend. He then switches his attention to trying to decipher the different voices. Could the Maddie he knew in uni be the same Maddie he's eavesdropping on? 

Then the fun begins...

What I'm saying is this: create an amazing opening hook line, but don't stop there. The opening hook of your story has two parts. 

Part A: The amazing hook line. 

Part B: The amazing hook scene that follows. 

Think first few pages and not just first line.

Until next time, let's hook them, baby!

Monique 

Author/Screenwriter Monique DeVere currently resides in the UK with her amazing hero husband, four beautiful grown-up children, and three incredible granddaughters. 

Monique writes Romantic Comedy stories some call Smexy—Smart & Sexy—and others call fluff. Monique makes no apologies for writing fun, emotional feel-good romance! She also writes Christian Suspense with a more serious edge.  

Monique loves to hear from her readers. You can contact her by visiting her http://moniquedevere.blogspot.co.uk to learn more about her and check out her other books.